After I visited Nanay Minda in Davao, Philippines, my friends already convinced me to visit a psychotherapist. At the time, I was already considering that I might be crazy or clinically depressed.
One day, I visited a psychotherapist in Ateneo de Manila University in Manila, Philippines without knowing what to expect. My first session with her was all about being gentle with myself. This was because I had a tendency of punishing myself for every single thing I did wrong, which entailed a lot of verbal abuse.
“Was it my fault? I think, it’s all my fault.
Why couldn’t I think like that?
I’m so stupid, stupid, stupid”
Since then, I became more mindful of my actions and my thoughts. I noticed that I got better as I came to understand myself more with each counseling session until finally, I decided that I’m ok.
The most important learning I had with my sessions is that my life is not that bad. In fact, if I were to count the number of years I had been happy versus the years I was sad, the former outweighs the latter.
My psychotherapist made me realize that I am actually blessed in spite of the losses I experienced with the people and dog closest to me. For most of the years that I have been alive, I spent these with the best possible companions. I was always showered with love when I was with them – love that could truly last me a lifetime. For that, I am thankful.
It took me about 5 or 6 counseling sessions and good to note, my last session happened back in 2013. How fast I healed was highly dependent on how ready I was to get better. And to get better, I took the necessary steps.
On a side note, kudos to psychotherapists! I used to be ashamed that I sought a psychotherapist as I have always associated this act to the mentally ill. Personally, based on experience, I see psychotherapists as friends who are always willing to listen and to help.